Bpd breakup reddit.

Bpd breakup reddit Hi everyone , This is my first time posting here but I have been lurking for a while. Armchair diagnoses are very detrimental to the person and the people around them. We would like to show you a description here but the site won’t allow us. This is a very typical bpd breakup and very telling. so i think neither you, me or any other person with bpd should think they are a bad person, because we are loving, like a lot, i don’t think there is anyone else who can give a person more love than a person with bpd, we would do anything for a person we love. you just summarized this so well. "r/ BPD Loved Ones" is a support forum and safe space for people to discuss the challenges and abuse they have endured at the hands of someone who has Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD). This is impacting you too. My BPD ex took every drug under the sun, and nothing helped; it's because medicine only works for chemical imbalances, whereas BPD is an emotional/personality disorder. I don't know what triggered that). People with BPD may be sensitive to rejection and abandonment and are prone to splitting, rage, and impulsivity. And I was on two other medications but I was on the lithium when I decided you know what my very big high storms that no medication has yet to get rid of I just need to isolate for a few days and that's what I did every year when this kind of thing pops up I take a break from work I go up into the mountains where there's no internet no phone and only 1 a. I am on mobile so obligatory apology for the format for pc users. This is my first breakup ever. So, I lost my shit when he refused to get back together. I now feel like I could've done much more to save the relationship rather than resorting to breaking up. You are in a trauma bond. I was angry and said let’s break up then (out of impulsivity and spite/splitting) and he agreed. A break up with a borderline doesn't feel like a break up, it feels like withdrawal and that's because it is. The breakup wasn’t the only thing that contributed, but it was a fairly big contender. Last night I couldn't sleep, I had nightmares and had my first panic attack. I recently broke up with my ex of 2 yrs. but Im tired I need help, how can someone with BPD, PTSD , domestic violence, etc have a healthy relationship and not treat badly my SO when he does nothing to trigger me, he reads about BPD, started going to therapy and I keep bringing him back to my breakup cycle ☹️ I don’t think it’s fair at all to suggest BPD or mental illness just because someone moves on quicker. We got back together 4 months later (our break up was the catalyst for my getting all of my mental health diagnosis. I will say, stay strong. r/BPD is a community of people with BPD (EUPD) and people who know someone with BPD… Jan 1, 2021 · You will more than likely see it mentioned time and time again, that BPD can only be diagnosed by a professional. I really loved and cared about this girl. Sure, normal break ups have to cease communication but with a BPD break up, first it is a blindsided break up for most parts. if you are meant to be together, things will work out after you learn how to manage your bpd better. When you're in a relationship with a borderline you are not in a relationship. Expecting the Unexpected: A BPD Breakup Guide May 26, 2024 · @nobodybro Hi there. Members Online NSFW "r/ BPD Loved Ones" is a support forum and safe space for people to discuss the challenges and abuse they have endured at the hands of someone who has Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD). The Fight Response. me (23) her (20) We never had any real issues and whenever something did happen we would always talk about it over all was a very healthy relationship. I think that, given the circumstances of you being apart, it would be okay to break up over the phone. After the break up, I did a lot of reflecting and read up on BPD. Just like you'd break up with any other person. You’re not Whatever you do, be sincere to her. However, there are a couple of common scenarios people find themselves in when breaking up with someone who has Borderline Personality Disorder. . Unfortunately the cycle creates a ton of instability for us both in our relationship which then tends to lead to more fights and the cycle repeats itself. We were only together for a couple months but I let myself get way too attached way too fast. The dizziness of looping between high intensity negative emotions like self harm, impulsively calling late at night, and talking about suicide is what I experienced too due to an inability to self regulate my emotions and thoughts. Therapist told me why it‘s so hard after BPD breakup I've been seeing a therapist for a while now and he told me that a borderline relationship often leads to blatant crises. 280K subscribers in the BPD community. It was my first relationship with a male BPD and first time being cheated on where he left me for the affair partner. I thought I would be doing much better than I am now given everything that’s happened. I dated a girl who had strong traits of BPD. Sometimes it takes me years to split. The illness may have increased your ex's negative emotions, but it's not something you or your ex can put the blame on. Expecting the Unexpected: A BPD Breakup Guide "r/ BPD Loved Ones" is a support forum and safe space for people to discuss the challenges and abuse they have endured at the hands of someone who has Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD). Almost 3 years, don’t be me haha. ppl with BPD are more likely to get abused than most other mentally ill people, but bc of stigma they are easily gaslight into thinking they are the problem. I have BPD. She needs to mature and get some help, it never seems that way as someone with active bpd but time alone is very beneficial to gain mental clarity and find out who you are. Once I split I’m done. I'm no longer at that point in my life where I would, but it is possible that it was said to be unintentionally manipulative. usually when i get urges to break up it's when im on an extreme low side of an emotional slip. broadcast radio The internal pain that someone with BPD feels when a break up happens can be overwhelming and we'll do anything we can to avoid or to get rid of the pain. He said our relationship is a ticking time bomb and he doesn’t want to deal with it anymore. In… "r/ BPD Loved Ones" is a support forum and safe space for people to discuss the challenges and abuse they have endured at the hands of someone who has Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD). The last time me and my boyfriend broke up I didn’t know I had bpd yet I just knew I couldn’t control my emotions so I kept separating myself from him bc I was tired of hurting him and lying and just being horrible sometimes and so I kept trying to break up with him but he always would just stay, he understand me alright backstory I’m The Essential Family Guide to BPD, by Randi Kreger. Codependency Traits. Subsequently, they push/bait the non to react badly. Every time they have a “feeling they can’t shake” and they fall out of love with me, regardless of the fact that things were going extremely well this year. She understands you have BPD. sudden breakup with bpd gf I was with this girl for 8 months. You are the caretaker of a malicious emotional parasite that has the most addictive venom on earth. Since we weren't really together that long, I thought I would be over her by now. Hey everyone , I have been with my GF for about 5 months now , the past week was hell of an emotion rollercoaster for me , Last week she started suggesting breaking up and the fact and she has no feelings for me anymore , i try to calm her down and understand her and then later the day she says she's so in love with me and she only said cuz she was scared of me leaving her but i genuinely "r/ BPD Loved Ones" is a support forum and safe space for people to discuss the challenges and abuse they have endured at the hands of someone who has Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD). Is there a reason they're able to move on so quickly after discard/breakup, considering they're suppose to be very "emotional" and when they love they love deep (according to the BPD sub at least)? I got fed up by my ex's constant mood cycling and sudden breakup/disappearance, so I "broke her heart" by not taking her back the second time around. Glad you could join our forum. Codependent Relationships. " "r/ BPD Loved Ones" is a support forum and safe space for people to discuss the challenges and abuse they have endured at the hands of someone who has Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD). i told him about my bpd before "quiet" BPD I can only describe as regular BPD but instead of "snapping" when I decide someone doesn't like me anymore, I just wallow in a sticky muck of emptiness and guilt that I could have done something to prevent the other person from hating me. After this I would’ve wanted to at least navigate the break up together, understand what happened, how we were feeling, just show and receive affection from a person I lived my life with in the last 8 years but the concept of this break up, the brutality of it, was not just “I don’t want to be your boyfriend anymore” but “I don’t I'm going through a breakup right now. I am going through a breakup and I am having a really, really hard time. Instead of working with the complexities of relationships and situations, a person with BPD splitting either sees them as all good (idealizes) or all bad (devalues). I don’t know how to cope. This subreddit is an abuse support forum. Out of the Fog. This has to do with the fact that they are always splitting, i. But I feel like I'm dying. Once your brain tastes that chemistry you’ll be able to decide a little more if a permanent breakup is something that adds or subtracts from your anxious thoughts. r/BPD is a community of people with BPD (EUPD) and people who know someone with BPD… "r/ BPD Loved Ones" is a support forum and safe space for people to discuss the challenges and abuse they have endured at the hands of someone who has Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD). It’s so frustrating knowing that emotionally this is how I feel, yet logically knowing that I don’t want to break up with him and this is the bpd side of me talking. One of his obsessive recurring thoughts was about not hurting people, most of all me. IDK your circumstances like the length of your relationship or if you have kids together. You should put yourself first and gently break up with her, it isn’t healthy. (Their need for control and abandonment. It was devastating but I had to accept that it was the best decision to make. (2015). It's said to get validation and attention to get rid of the pain. Please know that it’s not the end of the world when your relationship ends. Posted by u/[Deleted Account] - 7 votes and 16 comments Jun 3, 2011 · However, there are a couple of common scenarios people find themselves in when breaking up with someone who has Borderline Personality Disorder. Rejection is awful and it reminds me of the rejection of my female parental unit(s). Members Online Ok-Department2819 "r/ BPD Loved Ones" is a support forum and safe space for people to discuss the challenges and abuse they have endured at the hands of someone who has Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD). People with BPD are really sensitive and feel/know when something is off, don't invalidate her feelings. All of us here understand and know the pain that comes from a relationship with a pwBPD. My friends seemed to move on much faster than me, but even more than that, they didn’t seem to feel the same nothingness that I felt when I was enduring a… My last break up pushed me to a suicide attempt. The fact is she is being honest and telling you that she may well hurt you in the future. Jul 5, 2023 · Hello. what works best to get through to me when i’m having an episode is support and not criticism. I respect his decision. 21 votes, 17 comments. Please remember that you're a person too. It feels like it weighs down every aspect of my life either until I get over them. He just doesn't like me the way I like him, I don't want to bother him or force him to date me again. I’ve been in a relationship for 3. I fully agree with what @Almostme said. This has happened twice in the past but this time, he has not entertained any of my tries at reaching out or my apologies and ignored my messages for a day. this breakup sent me in a spiral. i can almost guarantee if i get suicidal or depressed i will want to break up with him so that i can have less of a guilty conscience if i hurt myself or so i don't feel bad for being a shit s. BPD is a very, very serious illness that you would have noticed in the duration of your relationship. There was never any communication about what they expect or want, everything is good today and tomorrow morning you get a break up text and then even if you are wanting to get some closure, there is no closure. don’t forget that your wife cannot prescribe herself a mood stabilizer, and should always only follow what the doctor prescribes. Your ex was the one responsible for staying in love with you and for dealing with BPD. BPD Wiki Notes. But, it seems like what is said about BPD/B relationships held true, at least with her. It Jun 3, 2011 · There’s never an easy way to break up with somebody you’re in a relationship with, and how it happens is going to vary wildly depending on the people and the situation. If it becomes abusive please just walk away and don't continue the conversation. I burn bridges and walk away. During the relationship, I didn't know about this disorder. That the separation isn't like a normal break up---it's sudden and unexpected. I don’t have an easy fix, nothing about BPD has been easy. However, this is usually followed 56 votes, 43 comments. I remember my PWBPD told me that, after they had broken up with their ex of six years they were living with and then immediately started hooking up with guys on tinder after the breakup, they came home to their miserable ex who was asking them how they could be so happy after the breakup. Although I am the one who initiated the break up, deep down I wanted him to stop me. Speaking from experience, the best way to break up with a BPD is by letting them break up with you during one of the many push/pull scenarios and by letting them feel like it was their decision to end the relationship. Sep 22, 2024 · Navigating a breakup with Borderline Personality Disorder can feel like trying to find your way through a dense fog. I do not have BPD and do this out of reactivity linked to the way my mom and aunts taught me to feel about mySelf and my worthiness of love. Dec 18, 2024 · This idealization and devaluation often occur through what’s informally known as the BPD relationship cycle, or the BPD breakup stages. Horrible illness! I only can go on what you say; I don't know the full dynamic between the two of you but it sounds like it isn't the BPD from what you're saying. o. Unfortunately, that causes many non-disordered people in abusive relationships to rationalize the abusive behaviour they are enduring. But my god this is really painful. I don't think I'll ever be able to date anyone "r/ BPD Loved Ones" is a support forum and safe space for people to discuss the challenges and abuse they have endured at the hands of someone who has Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD). Her suicidal tendencies are not your problem (this sounds hard, but otherwise you can never break up). Reply Interesting-Bat7268 • According to my therapist, it is a BPD thing and everyone has BPD symptoms with some areas stronger than others. BPD is not an excuse for us to be abusive. Posted by u/[Deleted Account] - 7 votes and 16 comments "r/ BPD Loved Ones" is a support forum and safe space for people to discuss the challenges and abuse they have endured at the hands of someone who has Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD). I've gone through the bpd breakup and yes, it was horrible. Does anyone have any advice for going through this already emotional time, as an emotionally unstable person? "r/ BPD Loved Ones" is a support forum and safe space for people to discuss the challenges and abuse they have endured at the hands of someone who has Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD). it was a conversation and we thought for like, 5-10 minutes that we were gonna break up and we both simply were like "actually no" I'm actually impressed by how common the make-up/break-up phenomenon is within the BPD space. The Essential Family Guide to BPD, by Randi Kreger. you are super great or super bad. I wouldn’t send her a text message or anything to break up, but give her a ring. I think the reason why it affected me so much is because he told me he loved me and couldn’t wait to marry me, and then two hours later blocked me on everything with no goodbye or explanation why. Sometimes, these things can’t be avoided and it’s unfair to you to stay in a relationship that you are unhappy with for additional time. Loving Someone with Borderline Personality Disorder, by Shari Manning. Quit bathing for a month; wear moth-ridden oversized shirts; start drooling; learn to communicate like Shane MacGowan after an all- "r/ BPD Loved Ones" is a support forum and safe space for people to discuss the challenges and abuse they have endured at the hands of someone who has Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD). 5 years, got my diagnosis for BPD about a year ago and now I’m going through a break up and it’s the hardest thing ever. Add in the BPD’s demon-possessed monkey brain that methodically stripped us of our remaining self-esteem, and we’re left with a really bad time after the breakup. thankfully he's really good at reading my emotions, and "r/ BPD Loved Ones" is a support forum and safe space for people to discuss the challenges and abuse they have endured at the hands of someone who has Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD). The thing is people with bpd can develop serious trust issues, become defensive and insecure and although she might usually be the nicest person in the world when these feelings are triggered she might turn and there is nothing like an abusive According to my therapist, it is a BPD thing and everyone has BPD symptoms with some areas stronger than others. My BPD partner broke up with me last Friday and I think straight up split black and white on me. But there is a place on the other side where the sun actually shines and it's not going to go away just because you forgot to look at it at exactly the right time (long story as to why that once caused a fight with my bpd girlfriend). ) "r/ BPD Loved Ones" is a support forum and safe space for people to discuss the challenges and abuse they have endured at the hands of someone who has Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD). Listen to this person op. this is the only time I've actually spoken my urge to break up and the span of time between me breaking up with him and us deciding not to break up was within the same hour. Members Online Realistic-Drive1518 Do you know her family or friends? Anyone you can notify that can stay with her for a bit after you break up so that they can make sure she's safe? You do not need to stay with her just because of her mental health. One of my exes and I broke up and I wanted to die. e. untreated BPD can be destructive and the person with it will seek love but not know what to do with it out of a fear of abandonment: they will try to I think that in itself has been good in regards to the grieving. Studies reveal extensive differences in brain structure and function. A lot of this place is (rightfully) venting and sharing negative experiences that we had with BPD loved ones, but I’d like to create a discussion on actionable things that helped you recover from your BPD relationship and get to a healthier place where you were happy with your life and future romantic prospects. Reply Interesting-Bat7268 • Jan 9, 2013 · Hey there, unfortunately these behaviours can be common in bpd ( except the stealing, that's not necessarily common. I did a lot of damage to myself and relationships when I split from that last breakup. it’s ‘how can i help you/ what can i do for you/ what can we do,’ versus ‘why did you do that/ why are you like this/ you should do or be or feel this instead We would like to show you a description here but the site won’t allow us. Oct 29, 2019 · Breakups have always been rough for me. People who opt for the fight response when ending a relationship will directly confront the person with Borderline Personality Disorder and tell them why they want to end the Mar 5, 2018 · If you're wondering what to do when a borderline personality disorder ends a relationship, the first thing you need to do is to stop blaming the illness for the breakup. It's so hard to objectively look at it these instances and know that things can be worked out or simmered on before rash decisions are made, but then something switches within the depths of my mind Tomorrow I am going to break up with my girlfriend who has BPD. My advice would be to contact her family and friends and ask if they can make sure she's safe. "Splitting is a defense mechanism to deal with emotions (such as the fear of abandonment) that they cannot handle. A lot of us are of the anxious attachment persuasion and breakups are hard for us regardless of the BPD partner. Those with BPD often suffer with what is called splitting. m. i also think that ppl with bpd are more understanding and compassionate of others This is a very typical bpd breakup and very telling. I'm just looking for support for getting over a pretty bad break up. I personally don’t have bpd but my ex of three years does, we’ve been on and off which I just found out is common in bpd relationships. Her BPD is NOT the only thing that makes the relationship untenable in the long term but I urgently need to end it because this pattern of trying to meet her needs and failing consistently is The BPAD/BPD misdiagnosis gambit should be put on a DSM's most common errors against humanity list. The BPD can’t then admit to the shameful act and break up with the non as this would enforce their shame and remove them from the position of the victim. Borderline personality disorder symptoms and "r/ BPD Loved Ones" is a support forum and safe space for people to discuss the challenges and abuse they have endured at the hands of someone who has Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD). 62 votes, 34 comments. 15 articles on BPD relationships. It's okay to break up with someone with mental health issues and it's okay to break up with someone because of their mental health issues. my bpd is still unmanaged and quite bad, but because i am older now i can express my feelings better. So even though I'd forgiven him for all the things he'd done to me, in the end, he was the one who had to break up with me to ease the mental burden. In all honesty, this is one of the tamer ways they break up cause I'm guessing you don't have any physical injuries or broken property. I know when I got a divorce. BPD does something that triggers shame (cheats, lies etc), or they just want to leave the relationship. Web Content. Codependent No More, by Melody Beattie. Brief background. the main difference is that people with BPD have issues with splitting- it really is a rollercoaster of extreme emotions that can be overwhelming and uncontrollable. If you’ve come to this sub-reddit, you’ve likely realized that you’re not alone in your feelings. Bpd break up Broke up with my bpd girlfriend yesterday after a blowup the day previous. I felt like I was abandoned, unloved and wanted to kill myself. The emotional intensity, fear of abandonment, and impulsive behaviors can create a perfect storm of distress. EDIT: If by "affected" you meant could the antidepressants have prompted her to break up with you, I suppose it's possible that they could have contributed in some way. Members Online BPD is the most infuriating disease "r/ BPD Loved Ones" is a support forum and safe space for people to discuss the challenges and abuse they have endured at the hands of someone who has Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD). You have your limits and your own mental health to take care of. Also, you might want to go no contact for a while if they still have feelings for you. I have talked to my therapist and I think she just isn't experienced with… I think it depends entirely on the person and their situation. BPD Relationship Overview: Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD) is a hereditary, genetic condition that significantly affects emotions, sense of self, memory and interpersonal relationships. Best thing you can do is inform her parents/close friend so they can keep an eye on her after the Fleas: Borderline-like habits picked up from a relationship with a person with Borderline Personality Disorder. I've been toying with the idea that making yourself as unappealing as possible might be a strategy for ensuring discard. Tell her you want to see what a break up would look like between you. that leads to stigma which leads to them not getting help. I’m sorry you are hurting - some people just suck. Alright so I don’t know how to handle this. I’m completely lost. She is an incredible person and I love her but I can't be her girlfriend anymore. Here’s what I would do: tell her. yes bpd does have negative side effects like any other mental disorder BUT we should not shame them. It might be helpful. We’ve broken up many times before, but only for like an hour, but this time it’s for real. i still split on my current boyfriend and start arguments but i know when i am wrong and when i am overreacting. People with BPD are all extremely different and there are so many ways the disorder can present- for some people with BPD this kind of issue could be absolutely destroying their life, while for another person with BPD, they might not even have it as a concern at all 😅 BPD unfortunately very strongly impacts the relationships of the person with the condition, for better and for worse. hi beautiful souls ️ so i’ve been noticing lately that every time my ex and i break up (we’ve broken up and called it quits several times now) i go into a manic episode right after ? this happens every time we break up— i usually start doing reckless shit, start riding on a high wave of energy, change my style, buy a lot of things, start new hobbies, texting all of my ex flings, start Unfortunately it got to a very bad point. If a person with BPD feels rejected or abandoned, they may end the relationship. The Fight Response Time and poor coping :( I honestly think that age has tempered my BPD a little bit so I’m not as petulant as in my 20s. It's okay to not be an emotional dumpster for your partner. true. I have BPD, and have been the victim of NPD abuse. I went through almost an identical situation. I don’t break up with an ex until I split. Nov 21, 2022 · Borderline personality disorder (BPD) affects many areas of a person’s life, including their relationships. Borderline Personality Disorder is a mental illness comprising difficulties in four areas: 1) emotions tend to be intense and rapidly shifting; 2) relationships tend to be conflicted and stormy; 3) there may be impulsive, self-destructive or self-defeating behaviors; and 4) there is a lack of a clear and coherent sense of identity "r/ BPD Loved Ones" is a support forum and safe space for people to discuss the challenges and abuse they have endured at the hands of someone who has Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD). they are 10% more likely to 56 votes, 43 comments. r/BPD is a community of people with BPD (EUPD) and people who know someone with BPD looking for mutual support and resources to help guide them through their journey. bdfzv ipknse moav hgcqp qqeucli amcdzj ddfq tyg bxqxxek ygeir